When people contact me for public speaking coaching, I’ve noticed that before we get to things like perfecting the craft of storytelling, refining a message, vocal qualities etc, I often need to convince the person they deserve the speaking platform they were given in the first place. This happens….a lot. From the most expert-y experts you can imagine.
If you know even a little about me, you know I’m not one to tell someone to “change their mindset” without giving CONCRETE, ACTIONABLE TO-DOs to make that happen. (My brain didn’t come with a “mindset” switch. Did yours?)
So here they are. Here are four things you can DO – as in, add to a to-do list and then check off – that will help you overcome your imposter syndrome and CREATE a confident mindset before your next speaking event.
1. Update Your Resume
I don’t mean run it through an AI to optimize your keywords. I mean BRAG. In whatever bullet point format you choose. Write down everything you’ve done – every accomplishment, every metric, every award, every EVERYTHING you can think of.
Did you do that? Ok, now read it. Read it over multiple times. You were asked to speak BECAUSE of this document not in spite of it. Bring that voice with you.
2. Define What an Expert Is
Clients will often tell me they think “everyone knows more than they do.” Alright fine. Let’s go with that for a moment. Define what an “expert” means to you. What qualities, certifications, knowledge, career benchmarks etc would you need to have that would let you consider yourself an “expert?” I’m serious, write it down. This isn’t an “in your head” exercise.
Now, look at what you wrote. Would that list have been different 10 years ago? 20 years ago? Think of your PAST SELF writing this list, how that list would be different, and how many of those qualities you NOW HAVE. There is always more to accomplish. Imposter syndrome makes us focus on what we haven’t done, rather than what we have. When you speak, you’re speaking from the WEALTH OF KNOWLEDGE that you’ve accumulated, not what you’ve yet to do.
3. Do Some “And-So-If-Then” For Your Worst-Case Scenario.
Think of the worst-case scenario you’re worried about in your speaking. The most common imposter-syndrome related concern I hear is, “I’m afraid I’ll be asked a question I don’t know,” so let’s use that as the example.
“I’m afraid I’ll be asked a question I don’t know.”
…AND?
“And then I’ll feel stupid.”
“SO, IF I don’t know the answer to every question, THEN I’m stupid?”
Well, hmm, when you put it that way, it sounds silly!
Folks, there are SO many things to know. Our world is PACKED with information. Nobody knows everything about everything. Zero people. In fact, the more of an expert someone is, the more they KNOW they don’t know everything. It’s not a matter of IF you’ll be asked a question you don’t know, it’s WHEN, so use that energy to work on what you’ll say when you’re faced with that situation, not HOPING it never happens.
(BTW, my go to phrases are: “Huh! Well isn’t THAT a fantastic question! I’m going to have to chew on that and get back to you” OR, if it’s something super basic that has simply slipped my mind – “Wow, I really feel like I should know that one. Computer must be having some data retrieval issues.” Find a phrase that sounds like YOU and practice it.)
4. Learn Something New
Confidence defeats imposter syndrome, and learning new things makes us feel confident. Best way to always be learning? BE CURIOUS!
What’s the topic/subject/thing you’re feeling weird about? Go read a book about it! Go watch a video. Go read a blog. Just make sure it comes from a place of CURIOSITY, not FOMO. “Fear Of Missing Out” knowledge consumption comes from fear. It comes from a place of trying to learn everything about everything which is a goal you’ll never achieve. Curiosity comes from a place of strength. Experts are always curious to learn more. Not as a benchmark to reach, but as a habit to live.
Go learn something. Anything. It can be related to your subject, but it doesn’t have to be. Learning makes us confident, and confident people can bring their best to their speaking.
Going forward
Finally, people who have worked with me know that if it doesn’t fit on a Post-it Note, I’m not all about it. So, here is your To-Do Post-it. Go on. Take it.
And go own the room at your next speaking engagement because you earned it.
Want more speaking tips? Check out my book Speak with Confidence on Amazon.
Want one-on-one help for an upcoming speaking engagement? Learn more about what coaching entails, and reach out today EmilySchwartzSpeaks@gmail.com
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